How to See the Light in Everyone
As I study spiritual principles, I find that they bring me and those I meet more peace, because I am willing to see the light in everyone. One ongoing problem for many women is with unwanted suitors. As we attract various types of men/women to us, we find that some do not, for whatever reasons, fit into our life scheme. Both men and women are sensitive to rejection. There is an art to treating the other person with the same sensitivity and respect that we would like allotted to us. I want to share an example of how I was first going to handle an unpleasant situation. By speaking my truth and sharing from my heart, I was able to diffuse my angry feelings and gain a sense of peace and safety for both of us.
I had been dating a particular man for a couple of months until it became clear to me that this relationship was not working for me. Obviously it was fine with him, because he continued to pursue the relationship. I eventually developed a very negative charge around this man, and wanted the form of our relationship to change. One evening I lifted up the phone, paused a moment to gather my thoughts and felt like unloading on this person with words like “quit calling me, you useless creep!” In the next moment, I experienced a very real shift in my mind. I set the receiver back down on the hook (pre-cell phone), then sat down for a couple of minutes to reflect on what I was about to do.
I immediately questioned my intentions. Did I really want or need to say those harsh words? I asked myself, “What do I want to come of this situation? How could I say what I need to say in a loving way - a way that would demonstrate to myself that spirituality was having a profound effect in my personal relationships? How could I bring peace to both of us, and find a responsible, mature way in which we could both walk away with our dignity? I might see this person again around the city, and did I want that negative energy to be between us?”
I know enough about spiritual law to realize that sending out negative energy or breaking off a relationship with animosity doesn’t free us from that other person like we think it will. In fact, it has the opposite effect. Anger actually binds you to that person tighter than you could ever imagine. Hateful energy between people is like a terminal disease, no matter how far they are away from each other. It’s when we interact with love and kindness that we free ourselves and the other person involved. We are no longer bound to that person or situation by the chains of hatred or fear, but we are each released to peacefully go our own way.
I lifted the phone once again, dialed his number, and took a deep breath just before he answered. I first remembered that, as metaphysical teachings emphasize, we are both children of God. I then said the words that needed to be said, in a considerate way. I did not attack nor condemn, but spoke from my heart, and was firm with the truth. I waited for a response, but received a long pause instead. What he finally mustered up was, “Ah... er... um, well...uh...wow, that was heavy.” I politely ended the conversation and hung up.
I sat down again to reflect on what I had just done. This was a real breakthrough for me, and I was happy with myself for being responsible and following through with spiritual values of kindness and compassion. I saw the light in someone where there otherwise appeared to be darkness. This accomplishment inspired me to reflect on the many ways in which Living by Spirit works for everyone's good. Thank you!